So anyway, around this time I had also been making some doodles at night, post-bedtime. The only person I thought really understood me was this dear friend I’ve been mentioning, Rashid Johnson (quite the hero in his own story, too). This was understandably unpleasant and uncomfortable, to say the least. Returning to sobriety found me as an emotionally stunted 16-year-old boy in a man’s body with a wife and three young children. Never mind the physical dependency, but the spiritual and psychological components really threw me. Now, when one has spent nearly 30 years using a bottle as their higher power, it’s not so easy to just put it aside. From boosting confidence and celebrating life milestones to simply just drinking to keep busy, alcohol was an ever-present feature of life. Since I was 16, drinking had become synonymous with living, my go-to for everything. Funnily enough, I really hadn’t ever considered this to be an option. Maybe it was age, maybe it was having three children under the age of 3, maybe it was because I had the unwavering support of a dear friend, or maybe it was that I was finally ready and could stay still just long enough to listen and see the signs, and maybe, just maybe, it was all of those things.Īt this moment in 2016, the dear friend I mentioned had been encouraging me to try some time off the booze. Most people pay attention to warning signs, but for reasons I don’t have the word count for, I never had. In 2016, I found myself at yet another bottom.
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